Last night was the proverbial back to school night. I am very happy with my daughters teacher and my hubby met the new pre-school teacher. After all the classroom fun, I and a good friend manned the girlscout table to give parents all sorts of info, on girl scouts. There was alot of interest and that is always good.
Last year I was the troop leader, for daisy's and it was a good thing because it made my daughter very happy. At the end of the year, I was deeply hurt by two of the mothers in my troop, one in particular. Last night as I was talking to a potential mom for this years brownie troop she just walked right up and started talking to this mom.
You see I was originally going to give up my troop, then decided to keep it, and these two ladies formed another troop and I lost a few of my girls. Last night it just seemed like this big competitive thing.
I guess the point of what I just told you, is that this morning, I am feeling a little under the weather. Wondering is this person going to take this mom to her new troop, maybe say bad things about me, maybe just do everything she can to sabotage the whole thing for me this year. This person caused the original problem and I was the one scathed in the whole thing.
I just dont have the time, much less the energy to deal with this and the petty drama that will go along with it. Its really hard for me to hold back my anger at all of it. And part of me just wants to say "screw it all" regardless of how it may hurt my daughter in the long run. She is so happy to have mommy as her troop leader.
How do I go along and not always wonder what is being said behind my back, and will there be repricussions on my kid. I dont know, Maybe the weather has me depressed. I am feeling very inadequate right now :( I just want to be the best mom and give my daughter the experiences she should have.
I am trying to be a good christian in all of this. Maybe I am worrying to much,
Maybe I just need another cup of coffee........ blessings, see you soon.