Sunday, September 30, 2007

Its Been A While!!!

It has been a while since I have posted, my surgery went very well and I am pretty much recovered at this point. Things have seemed to settle down for the moment, but knock on wood, we shall see. I have done alot of growing here lately. I turned 41 on September 29th and have decided that the time is now to change both my weight and some of my outlook.

God has certianly worked to change so many things about me and in my life, and it is a breath of fresh air. We have become more involved in the church and I believe that God has both a plan for me, and for this family. I thank him everyday for the things that he blesses me with. I take nothing, nothing at all for granted. I truly am blessed beyond anything that I have ever ever known before in my life.

I find strength in places I have never know that I had it. I am optomistic that the peace and calm that I am feeling, is a good thing right now.

Thats all for now......

Sunday, September 9, 2007


Wow what a day today was, up at 5:30 and off to the Susan G Komen race for the cure. This is a day that I remember that at 55 cancer took my mother away from me and 6 granbabies. It was also a day to celebrate her life. You see being her first born I am in danger of getting breast cancer myself. This is one of the things that scares the life out of me.
I pray everyday that I will be around for a long time for my kiddos. It was a great day and i took lots of pics to remember it. As I was walking I was thinking of the Janet Jackson song. "there are times when I look above and beyond, there are time when I feel your love around me...I'll never forget" "everywhere i go, every smile i see, i know you are there, smilin back at me, dancin in moonlight, I know you are free, cuz I can see your smile shinin down on me.

Surgery at 7:30am it may be a couple of days. But today was a good day, the smiles of my kids, DH and my friends that I was able to share today with............well, there are no words to express my joy.

After the race I went to church, and it was a very powerful message. It really hit home for what has been going on in my life lately. The verse was 1st Corinthinans 15:10. "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect."

until after the surgery and my hospital stay....

Much love to all

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Dear God

First I would like to thank you for each and every blessing that you have given me. I take nothing for granted ever, and I pray that you give me the strength once again that I have been continually praying for from you. I pray that you continue to heal the parts of my body that you know so desperately need healing. I ask you to forgive me in those areas that you know that I need forgiveness. I am not perfect in any way, nor have I ever claimed to be. I am full of flaws, but i am working on myself every single day.
Please give me the strength to be a better mother and wife, and to guide my children in the right direction and teach them all the good things that they need to know.
Thank you for this beautiful sunny day, and thank you for listening to me.


Friday, August 31, 2007

The Last Few Days...

Things have been holding their own, for the last 48 hours, although it seems like the surprises just never end. I have been fairly sick over the last couple of days, today was byfar much better than it has been. My mind goes a million miles an hour these days. I still continue to pray each day and ask GOD to bless this family, and guide me along this rocky path, that I apparently am on right now.

I find so much comfort and an overwhelming peace in the eyes of my kids and that of my DH. I love to hear them laugh, love to watch them play and love to listen to all that they have to say. It is what carries me through each and every hour of the day. Things will get better, I am sure of that. Some things have been lost along the way, and I have been told I am all about excuses...I am so very tired of the word bitch, "let he who casts the first stone" You see,I believe that life is not an excuse, and love and trust and understanding are supposed to be unconditional. Thats what the good book tells us.

So I will press on forward, Robert Frost once said that "ALL I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE I CAN SUM UP IN THREE WORDS: IT GOES ON............"

And so it goes, round and round, the merry go round of life.....Personally I prefer the rollercoaster.......with my hands high up in the air......

Until later

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

5 years ago today!!

5 years ago today, my beautiful baby girl Arianna Francesca Fiducia was born. As I sit here and write this, I am overwhelmed with emotion. Bawling like a big goofball, almost on the verge of a panic attack. It seemed like it was yesterday when she changed my life forever.

This morning she was awake and asked for bfast. I came down to get her cereal, and when I opened her room door she was sitting on the floor and I greeted her with a little chocolate birthday cake with a number 5 candle on top and sang happy birthday to her. She was playing with a toy, and stopped me in the middle of the song, put away her toy and said "Go ahead, you can finish now" It was so cute.

I hugged her and told her how wonderful she has made my life, and how happy I was that I had her......

It was a special moment, and those seem to be what I live for these days.........

Monday, August 27, 2007

The Last 8 Months

It has taken some time to realize that the last 8 months have truly been a test of my strength as a woman and a mother. It has been one trial and tribulation after another and another. And I have successfully wethered the storm thus far. Having been fully focused on my family and my children. I wasn't always able to do things, because of scheduling, sitters so on an so forth. But I have always been the kind of person who tends to retreat when things get bad. I have a few very wonderful and dear dear close friends, whom I love with all my heart, but I have never really been the kind of person who dumps my crapola pile onto others. So there were times when I couldnt call, or come over, or have lunch or drinks......Life just got in the way.
I am having some issues with my health right now....and I spend my days engulfed in the smiles and laughter of my children. Even my nicky has come around. I will continue to press onward in my journey down this road of life. I will not feel guilty for how I have handled the last 8 months of my life, Most of my friends and family have been very understanding.
I have been praying daily for strength from GOD, for guidance. I want to live each day, and savor every moment that I have. I know that I am not perfect, not in any way at all. I know that I am full of flaws, I will not judge others, because I do not want to be judged.
I strive everyday to make a better life for my family and kids. I work on bettering myself, and I do not take my life for granted in anyway. I am grateful for everything that GOD has blessed me with...

well thats enough for now.............

Friday, August 24, 2007

Random thoughts

My heart is just so filled and so full of joy when I realize that I am so very very lucky to have the things that God has blessed me with. My family, healthy children, a few good friends. I prayed this morning for strength, and thanked God for his many blessings. I do not take my life for granted or the things that I have for granted either.

I have been a bucket of mush and riding the intense roller coaster of emotion, that has been my life for the last 8 months. fortunately I have managed to grab the proverbial bull by the horns and hang on!! maybe now some of the dust is starting to settle. I am hoping that things will quiet down, maybe just a little.

I am in full focus on the road that lay ahead. My children bring me more joy each and every day. Blessings from heaven is what they are.

Someone once said, "Live and Love each and everyday as if it were your last" "Because one of these days, your gonna be right"

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Happy Horrible Sunday!!

Ugghhhh, today I woke up feeling just horrible...aunt flo has arrived, and I am apparently very hormonal from that. I am just feeling all depressed and weepy. So we all got up and got ready and went to church. We attend Austin Bluffs Community Church. The service is always very lively and the band was just rockin while we sang and worshiped. It was great!!! This church has really been a fortress in helping me to cope with what has been going on in my life lately, well for the last 8 months.
I left feeling much better, Arianna attends childrens church while we are in service. This church family is such a comfort and such a comfortable atmosphere for us.

After church we went to lunch and had a wonderful family meal together. Now Dante is napping and Jim is getting ready to go to work. I still feel yucky, but better than I did when I woke up.

and Arianna blew her first bubble with bubble gum today...she was so proud of herself.

till next time....

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Arianna's First Day Of School. August 16th, 2007

What an absolutely amazing day this was...........I was so full of emotion and I tried to be so strong for her. My little girl, who really isnt a baby anymore. It is so amazing to look at both of my younger children and think, WOW...what an amazing little life force the both of them are.
She had a great day, and at the end of the day she came out the door in smiles, and gave kisses and couldnt wait to go back the next day. It was truly amazing.

Where to begin...............

Hey there, It's me Denise......

I guess this is the best place to start, I am 40 and have a nursing degree. I am an LPN and have a wonderful hubby, and 3 teriffic kids. Nicholas my oldest is a senior in high school and will be graduating this year. Arianna will be 5 and just started Kindergarten. and Dante my last and final child will be 2 in November.

So I thought I would try this out for a while, alot of the ladies on the message board I belong to have blogs, so lets give it a whirl and see what happens!!