Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Once again..I find myself in that old familiar place.

Once again I find myself, cornered by my old friends, self doubt, fear, and their good buddy insecurity. The three musketeers have drawn their swords upon me again...I fear that this may be a deadly combination, and may permanently scar me for life. Or perhaps kill my soul!!!
I have set my self to a particular challenge, one that will remain nameless for now, and tonight some things that need to be reworked became painfully evident to me.
So my three buddies, whispered in my ear the rest of the evening, throwing every no good reason to just give up the desire to accomplish what it is I have set myself too.
All I can think is how incredibly weak I am, but part of me will not let go of the desire to succeed and not to fail.
Failure, oh my sweet love, we have danced quite often in the last year, and we are most definately no longer strange bedfellows...
It is you I fear the most, and yet writing this blog, lifts some of weight of the attack of the three musketeers.
My heart tell me to stay strong, stay focused, and press forward, been here before, just for a different reason.
I am hoping that when I close my eyes tonight for what will hopefully be a peaceful sleep, a freedom, that surely will not end up that way...
that my 3 friends will be gone in the morning, and I will awake with a new plan of attack to achieve my current desire...
who knows what the sunrise will bring???????

1 comment:

corinne said...

ahh..I know those 3 friends..be gentle with yourself..