Wednesday, December 10, 2008

5 Year Anniversary

Today is the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death. She died at 55 of breast cancer. This date was the worst day of my life. And yet she's still there, diapproving, telling me I'm not good enough, or a lousy mother, or I should have never had kids. I miss my mother so much, and yet if she were still here, she would still, be torturing her children. Blaming us for all the shortcomings in her life, just like she did on this day 5 years ago.
I guess it does no good to dwell in the negativity of the situation, I mean she died and that was it. Leaving a total of 7 grandchildren. My nick was her first grandbaby. He had a special connection with her. I guess he always will. I hope that she is his guardian angel, and she protects him and watches over him as he continues on this path he is on. I do know that she would have been very proud of him.
I know that someday we will see each other again, but for now, there are times when I wish I could pick up the phone and hear her voice. I would give anything for one more argument.

She was only 17 in the pics and I was a baby.....

thats all for now.......


Photobucket

2 comments:

Susan said...

Aw Denise. :hugg I'll call my mom and pick a fight. Actually, I won't have to pick it, I'll just call, she'll find something!

Danielle said...

You Know I love you,But she was how she was.Do what I do and look at the good.Our mother was a difficult restless soul and while it does not make the way she was right sometimes it does help you let go.